How do you use lube?

Put a coin sized amount on your fingers, warm it for a few seconds, and apply it to both partners before anything starts, not after friction shows up. Reapply whenever things feel dry or sticky. Water based works with every condom and toy; silicone lasts longer but stays off silicone toys.

How much.

More than you think. The usual mistake is a pea sized dab that disappears in thirty seconds, followed by the conclusion that lube does not work. Start with a coin sized amount, about a teaspoon, and add more without ceremony. Too much is a towel problem. Too little is a friction problem, and friction is what lube exists to solve.

Lube from a pump or a bottle goes on cold. Squeeze it into your palm or fingers and rub for a few seconds before it touches anyone. Silicone lube is thinner than it looks; a few drops cover a lot.

Where it goes.

On both of you. Lube on one surface and not the other means the dry surface drags. For vaginal sex that means the opening and a little inside, plus the penis or toy. For anal sex it means a lot more, inside and out, because the body makes none of its own there. For toys, coat the toy and the body.

When, and when again.

Before. Lube added after things have already started to chafe is damage control. Put it on early, as part of foreplay, and nobody has to pause.

Then again when it fades. Water based lube absorbs into the skin and evaporates, so it can need topping up within 10 to 20 minutes. If it has gone tacky, a few drops of water or a wet finger brings it back. Silicone lube does not absorb or dry, so one application usually lasts the whole time.

With condoms.

Water based and silicone lube are both safe on latex and polyisoprene condoms. Oil of any kind is not; the WHO advisory on lubricants lists oils, petroleum jelly and mineral oil as products that damage latex. A drop inside the tip of the condom before rolling it on adds sensation for the wearer. A layer on the outside once it is on cuts friction and lowers the chance of a break.

With toys.

Water based lube goes with everything. Silicone lube can soften the surface of silicone toys over time, so keep silicone lube for glass, steel, hard plastic and skin. If you are not sure what a toy is made of, use water based.

Water based or silicone.

Water based is the all rounder: condom safe, toy safe, rinses away, and the good ones sit in the WHO ideal osmolality band of 380 mOsm/kg or under. Good Clean Love Almost Naked measures 240 to 269 and has a pH of 4.7, close to the vaginal range. It needs reapplying, and that is the whole trade off.

Silicone is the long haul option. A few drops last through anything, it works in water, and osmolality does not apply because there is no water in it. Uberlube is three ingredients. It does not rinse off with water alone, so soap afterward, and it stays away from silicone toys.

Most people end up with one of each: water based on the nightstand, silicone for the shower and for when reapplying is a hassle. Nothing here is medical advice; pain or irritation that does not go away is a reason to see a clinician.