What can you use as lube?

Pure aloe vera gel is the best household option, then coconut oil, then olive oil. Aloe is water soluble and condom safe; the oils are not. Never use Vaseline, baby oil, lotion, soap, butter, or anything with sugar or fragrance. A real low osmolality lube costs about the same as a jar of coconut oil.

The ranked list.

1. Pure aloe vera gel. The only household option that is water soluble, condom safe and gentle. It has to be pure: aloe as the first ingredient, no alcohol, no fragrance, no added color. Most drugstore "aloe gels" are after sun products that are mostly alcohol, so read the label. Aloe is the base of several of the best commercial lubes, which is the strongest endorsement a household remedy can get. It is thin and absorbs fast, so reapply.

2. Coconut oil. Slippery, long lasting, no glycerin or fragrance. Unrefined, food grade, from a jar kept for this purpose and not the one you cook from. Breaks latex and polyisoprene condoms. Lingers inside because it is not water soluble, which bothers a minority of people, usually those already prone to yeast or bacterial vaginosis.

3. Olive oil. Same profile as coconut oil, harder to handle. Runs, stains, smells like olive oil. Plain and food grade only. Same condom rule.

That is the whole list. Everything else in the house is a no.

The never list.

• Vaseline and petroleum jelly. On the WHO list of latex damaging products. Not water soluble, lingers for days, and associated with bacterial vaginosis in a 2013 study of US women.
• Baby oil. Mineral oil plus fragrance. Destroys latex within a minute. Lingers. The fragrance irritates.
• Lotion. Built for skin, not mucous membranes. Fragrance, preservatives, alcohol, emulsifiers, and usually oil.
• Saliva, long term. Fine for a moment. Dries in a minute, carries oral bacteria, and does nothing for friction once it is gone.
• Soap, shampoo, conditioner. Detergents strip the tissue and sting. Conditioner adds fragrance and silicones of unknown type.
• Butter, margarine, shortening. Animal fat and salt, or hydrogenated oil. Breaks condoms and goes rancid.
• Anything with sugar. Honey, syrup, whipped cream, flavored products. Sugar feeds yeast.
• Anything with fragrance or menthol. Massage oils, scented oils, tingling products. Irritants.

Condom rules.

Water soluble: pure aloe gel, water based lube. Safe with latex and polyisoprene.

Oil: coconut, olive, every other fat, petroleum jelly, mineral oil, most lotion. Breaks latex and polyisoprene, per the WHO/UNFPA/FHI360 advisory. Only polyurethane and nitrile condoms are oil safe.

If you are not certain what is in it, treat it as oil.

The math.

A jar of coconut oil runs 8 to 12 dollars. A 4 ounce bottle of Good Clean Love Almost Naked runs about the same, measures 240 to 269 mOsm/kg with a pH of 4.7, and works with every condom and toy. Sliquid Organics Natural measures 106 mOsm/kg, among the lowest published, and is thinner. Coconu Oil Based is the purpose made version of the oil route, with no fragrance, for people not using latex condoms.

The household list exists for the night you have nothing else. It is not the plan. Nothing here is medical advice, and persistent irritation means a clinician.